Shout Out Health

Wellness: Are You Stuck in Approval Seeking Mode?

Hate in any form is toxic and destructive, especially when you hold onto it. So while I’m taking a deep breath and letting go of the latest Trump-fueled insanity coming out of Washington, I’ll direct my ire at an enemy we all share in one way or another: approval-seeking! Guess what? I hate it.

I know you’re not supposed to hate anything (or anyone) because as the well-known adage goes, holding onto hate is akin to your taking a vial of poison thinking it will kill your enemy. But this particular poison – approval seeking -- drains your energy, individuality and personal power; needing and seeking and obsessing about the approval of others is energetic poison, and each and every one of us dips into this toxic well far too often.

The truth is, approval seeking is incredibly stressful -- and exhausting.

So WHY do so many of us seek approval? More specifically, what’s wrong with being nice and seeking approval? Here’s the problem: Needing and seeking their approval is akin to saying, “YOU’RE more important than I am. I need you to approve of me so I can feel good about myself.”

So we dress a certain way. We conform, act and preoccupy our every move with fear-based thoughts such as "what if they don’t like me?” It’s safe to say that virtually everyone on earth has experienced similar thoughts like this one, sometimes hundreds of times per day. We get desperate to impress, to get more ‘likes’ and attention, online and in the world. But what do you think that’s doing to your true potential, creativity, and moment-to-moment peace of mind? The truth is, approval seeking is incredibly stressful -- and exhausting. Life becomes a chore. Anxiety rises. How does that help you (or anyone)?

Facing Your Inner 'Life Contortionist': How to Stop Living in Fear and Find Your Authentic Gay Self

Who do you turn to for help in a personal crisis? Do you have a must-see therapist, energy healer or life coach to get you through life’s rough patches? Finding that support can be essential when it comes to leading a happier, healthier and more empowered life, so we asked Joel Readence, CPC, ELI-MP, Life and Executive coach, to tackle some of our questions. Here are some excerpts from that conversation (watch for Part 2 coming soon):

ShoutOutHealth: What’s the most common life challenge you see among LGBT people?

Fear. It’s fear of failure. Fear of judgment. Fear of success. In the gay community, so many of us grow up turning ourselves into what I call life contortionists. We turn into what others wanted us to become, what society or our parents or peers or teachers wanted us to be. This causes us problems later on in life, because you have such an external focus that you don’t spend the time to turn inward, and answer your own life’s questions and find out what you really want to be doing. So it’s about overcoming fears and really spending the time with yourself, and not being afraid to be alone and figure out what you want in your life.

ShoutOutHealth: What can be done about these fears?

So the vast majority of the time, the fears we’re grappling with are self-induced, and the vast majority of the time they’re not based in reality. A lot of people plunge themselves into the future and imagine the worst possible outcome, instead of staying focused in the present and asking what will make me happy, and what are the small steps I can take that are easily digestible and take me forward in the direction I want to go.

Mind Really DOES Matter: Candace Pert Exclusive!

UPDATED: In memory of the amazing Candace Pert, who passed away on Sept. 12, 2013, here's another look at this fascinating interview with the renowned author and researcher. 

by Mitch Rustad

Researcher and author Candace Pert has already earned full-fledged icon status. Widely known for bestselling 1997 book, Molecules of Emotion, Pert is also the Scientific Director of RAPID (Receptor Active Peptides Into Drugs) Pharmaceuticals in Washington, DC, which is centered around AIDS research.

"Our physiology is perfectly designed for bliss and this perfection is dynamic, so taking responsibility for your own health is important."

 Pert’s cameo in the hit indy movie What the Bleep Do We Know!? in 2004 that brought her worldwide fame and turned her into an cult figure for the New Age and Hollywood sets, and her latest book, Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d, adds to her already impressive career.

 In part two of our exclusive interview (use "What is Peptide T?" link at right for read part one), Pert touched on a wide range of topics—the mind-body connection, science and spirituality, the role of discrimination on health and wellbeing and the path to vibrant health.

 You've mentioned that bodywork, meditation and guided visualizations are effective methods of healing. But is it really that simple?

All of these healing modalities are effective. The ultimate solution is really simple—love yourself and love others. A lot of the projections we make to the outside world are actually what we're projecting inwardly about ourselves. If you're angry, take a look at whom you're really angry at, because that angry vibration inside could mean you're actually reacting against yourself. Love is an integrator and a healer, but you have to do the work to love yourself and you can start by loving others. That's the core of human health.

NUTRITION: What's the Secret to Vibrant Health and Fitness?

UPDATED: What's the real key to more vibrant health and a fitter body?

Though there's no 'once size fits all' approach, creating optimum health comes down to what you eat, how you breathe and—ahhhhhhh—taking time to properly stretch, says Brigitte M. Britton, H.N., a holistic nutritionist, organic gourmet chef and author of The Mega Way.

  But there is no getting around it—what you eat is the cornerstone to more vibrant health, says Britton. "It's human nature to look for the quick fix, and unfortunately there's more emphasis in society on weight loss than health."

We asked Britton to elaborate on her unique approach to health and well-being. Here are some excerpts from that interview:

How do you really know if what you're eating is helping or hurting your health?

Food is supposed to energize you, not sedate you. If a meal sedates you, you're eating the wrong foods. If you're eating right you should feel great after a meal. Think of it this way: you put fuel in your car to keep it running, not to shut it down. Your body is the same.

What are five foods that we must include in our diets to stay fit, lean and feeling good?

First, let me mention two things that are essential for better health—fiber and water. Fiber helps your body achieve overall balance; it eliminates toxins and wastes in your body, helps eliminate cravings for bad foods and gives you more energy. It even helps your body burn fat! And without enough water, your body can't flush away toxins. Water is essential.

Mind Body: Why Doesn't Positive Thinking Always Work? Read this...

I was perusing Facebook this morning (hey, if it can help transform a nation, it's much more than the main 'character' in the Oscar-nominated film The Social Network, right?) and stopped at Candace Pert's page. I interviewed Candace for this blog, and her HIV research is groundbreaking and she's got to be one of the most brilliant people on the planet. I wanted to see what she's been up to.

This link below on Candace's page caught  my eye, and I'm glad I clicked on it. If you're like me, you take the mind body connection 
very seriously, yet sometimes find that 'positive thinking' falls flat, feels phony and doesn't always create that wonderful day or produce a desired result. Why not? Don't all the self help gurus tell us to think positive?

This is a marvelous analogy on why positive thinking can fall flat, from Dov Baron's Facebook page...he writes...

According to the brilliant Dr. Bruce Lipton in his book “The Biology of Belief” (2005), the subconscious mind processes 20,000,000 environmental stimuli per second verses 40 environmental stimuli interpreted by the conscious mind in that same second.

Think about this, it makes sense (and excuse my crassness, but I think it’s a really good model), “positive thinking” (i.e. affirmation) is kind of like Saran Wrap over dog poop. The Saran Wrap will cover up, possibly disguise the smell, however, it won’t get rid of the “poop” itself—and that’s kind of what affirmations and positive thinking do. They appear to cover “it” (the unconscious issue) up, but they don’t deal with “it.”

That being said, until you deal with what’s underneath, “it” doesn’t go away and nothing changes. And because it's what's under the Saran Wrap (In the subconscious mind) that determines the other 95% of what's showing up in your life your QRF draws to you whatever it draws to you because of what’s underneath. Makes sense, right?

Hey, makes sense to me (I think). But what do you think? What's the 'dog poop coated in Saran Wrap' in your life that's limiting the effectiveness of your best intentions? Is it not believing you're equal to others, or truly deserve to receive the best in life? Or is it something else? Why not grab a pooper scooper and find out? Thanks Dov! -- Mitch Rustad

MIND BODY: AIDS Researcher Pert Showcases Meditation CD

Can guided meditation/visualization or other relaxation techniques really enhance overall health, reverse illness or even slow the progression of HIV?  In previous blog entries, interviews and podcasts, we’ve pointed to experts and even research that indicates growing confidence in meditation as a viable health tool.

So when famed scientist, author, and AIDS researcher Candace Pert, CSO of RAPID Laboratories in Rockville, Maryland--which is developing a drug treatment and vaccine against HIV--releases her own guided meditation CD, attention must be paid.

But don’t let the mouthful of a title--“Healing the Hurting, Shining the Light, Chakras and Modern Neuroscience”—scare you; Pert’s soft-spoken approach of hard science and spirituality should relax and
inspire even the most cynical listener.

The centerpiece of the 5 track CD is the lecture/guided meditation “Chakra Lecture, A Musical Relaxation Process.” in which Pert blends “the facts of science with the latest thinking of…some of the most avant-garde healers in the world.”

Here are some highlights:

Over the Rainbow, Indeed! The colors of the rainbow all have corresponding sound waves, such as red and the musical note F, and each note can bypass informational substances and activate cellular receptors directly. What does this mean, exactly? Says Pert, “For me it’s enough to know, that music, spoken words, the colors of the rainbow, human brain waves and our molecules of emotion are all resonating together, in synchronous relationship.”

Have a Heart: The crown of the head is the place that has the most neuronal connections of anywhere in the brain. The heart contains every peptide neural information substance that’s ever been measured, and leads the electrical activity of the entire body. Thus, living from a loving, happy heart can be a very soothing place to be. Physiologically speaking, maybe that’s why gratitude, love and compassion feel so good.

Mind Really Does Matter: Think your mind doesn’t directly affect your body? During the meditation, Pert asks the listener to imagine cutting a bright, yellow lemon in half, and then imagine chewing that lemon in your mouth. Try it yourself and see if the resulting shivers and/or saliva filling your mouth isn’t very real.

For insight into Pert's AIDS research, check out our Q & A here. -- Mitch Rustad