Q: Help, I am in my 30s and I'm out and proud and all that, but I am anxious every day about my future, the economy, my love life, the state of gay rights, etc., I just can't seem to relax and I don't want to resort to any more medication, I've tried them in the past. I'm a big believer in therapy, but I can't see my therapist every day! What should I do?
A: Does your therapist know that you are anxious every day about life, the universe, and everything? If so, is he or she just reassuring you, dealing with one issue at a time, or looking at this general pattern of anxiety? I hope it's the last one. The first two will make you feel better in the moment; the last one will reduce anxiety in the long run.
Your worries come from a more generalized pattern of beliefs that the world is a threatening place and you are not personally equipped to handle it. You apply those beliefs to each individual situation and the outcome is always the same--you get anxious. Because you don't believe you have the ability to affect your situation, you look for outside means to solve your worries, such as seeking reassurance, controlling other people, or flat out avoiding things that make you anxious.
Assuming you also had a medical check-up to rule out any physical problems that could be fueling your anxiety, then the focus of treatment generally addresses your thought patterns that lead to anxiety, your behavioral avoidance of threatening things, and your physiological arousal in response, such as the tension and stress that makes it difficult to relax.
People who have anxieties in multiple situations tend to mostly talk about their worries about the future and their negative expereinces in the past. That's fine for a friend but not for a therapist. If you are spending more than half of your therapy session talking about the past or future, and not the present situation, you are probably just spinning your wheels.
Of course, you could be receiving excellent treatment and not realizing it because those who tend to worry in multiple situations often doubt the adequacy of their services they are receiving, including therapy. As a result, they often look for other input--such as writing to an advice column! Bring any doubts to your therapist, an open discussion about your treatment you are receiving is always time well spent.
If you haven't dealt with relaxation in therapy, that is not the biggest deal as some treatments focus more on thought changes and exposing you to your worries rather than seeking to put momentary band-aids on them, such as anti-anxiety medications or even relaxation. But, that doesn't mean relaxation is not valuable, it is just one part of treatment. Continue in other parts with as much focus and patience. Just think about what life will be like when you can enjoy what is happening today rather than constantly worrying about tomorrow. -- Greg Cason, PhD
Well , if you have HIV, that automatically means you are HIV posvtiie. Yes, HIV is the thing that causes AIDS and but if you have HIV it doesn't mean you have AIDS yet .AIDS happens progessively after awhile, not automatically, but HIV infection does happen automatically when in contact with infected bodily fluids (blood, vaginal secretions, semen) . Long term, AIDS affects your t-cells, which means you are very vulnerable to infection and can die from illnesses that a healthy person might be able to fight, like the pneumonia or bronchitis.
Posted by: Ygor | 04/16/2012 at 11:55 AM
This is a bad one too. But I must say I've heard Black men OPENLY speak about having sex w/another man, tuirnng him out in jail, etc. have seen women still give that same guy her undivided attention. I don't understand women like this. It CAN'T be that good! Between the US Black women what's going on in Africa, I just don't know how to best handle this issue because not many are abstaining or using condoms. You also have the factor of African women are being raped given the disease.
Posted by: Worapol | 05/31/2012 at 12:41 AM
xsanches- yes and no. Many therapist wiohtut the DPT degree do not feel that we should be called Dr. But many PTs with the DPT believe that we have earned the right. So to answer your question. I've seen that slowly, more and more PTs are using the title of Dr. If chiros, podiatrist, and dentist do- why not PTs.
Posted by: Karlyene | 07/06/2012 at 12:23 PM
It was insulting the Catholic Church and the Tories for not sutpproing condom use. Conservative organizations tend to support abstinence only programs and view programs that promote or issue condoms as promoting a loose life style. The implication is that if the person had had access to condoms and used them and felt it was right to do so, that he would not have gotten sick and died.I can not speak about the policy of the Tories, but I can say that the Catholic Church has provided a lot of medical attention to those with Aids. Furthermore, the Catholic Church certainly had nothing to do with introducing or promoting the spread of the Aids virus.
Posted by: Mario | 08/07/2012 at 12:29 AM
Stress and anxiety are part of our life. It is just there, once triggered, it will ruin our life for a period of time or sometimes for a lifetime. We are always negative, thinks of negative feeling and etc. Therapy can treat it but there are some therapist who cannot understand the patient. We should know ourselves, think clearly and as much as possible, we should be positive.
Posted by: Ronald | 09/16/2012 at 11:54 AM
I haven't tried natural sleep aids befroe. I've only tried unisom. My work schedule is quite hectic and changes constantly so it is hard to get my body on a normal sleeping schedule.
Posted by: Ruby | 09/17/2012 at 09:50 AM