A: “Doctor, heal thyself” right?
Turns out you’ve got a classic problem; the ability to access and share your own wisdom in the service of others but not yourself. As someone who has built a life around working with and supporting others, you can believe I struggle with this too. It’s hard sometimes to avail ourselves of our own wisdom, support and tools. Heck, sometimes we just forget to apply what we know in our own lives. It’s like we live in a
constant case of amnesia; a convenient trick of the brain, that has us separated from what we know.
The brilliant thing though is that all those amazing skills, viewpoints and tools are right there close at hand, alive and well and ready for the using. This really puts you at an advantage in your own life. They’re there – you’re simply not turning them inward. We just need to tinker a bit, it seems, with your own sense of worth and value. Work that out and whala! You can begin to lean into all that you so effortlessly and beautifully share with others.
Yup, to me, this is a case of “I’m not worthy.” When we believe we’re not worthy, it means we don’t get to have the very things we want and need to be happy. We simply don’t believe that we deserve all of the support we give to others. And form this place we end up side lined on the road to happiness. Our energy drains, our enthusiasm wanes and our confidence takes a hike. We wake up one day and say to ourselves; “how come they get all the good stuff and my life looks like crap?” Pretty sad, huh?
So how do we turn that train around? How do we begin to live in the land of worth and take a stand for our own beautiful, deserving self? In a word; act. Try this: grab a pen and paper and turn the conversation around. Step outside of your own story for a minute and ask yourself how you coach, support and advise someone you love who found themselves in this same position? How would you help get them unstuck? What would you say to them? Assume they’re a completely willing participant; that they want to get unstuck and they’re ready to do the work. Get in there with them, roll up your sleeves and figure it out. Break it down into a plan or a process. What would his days look like? How would he handle problems? How would he deal with apathy when it shows up? Once you have something tangible down, take it and begin the process yourself. Test it out. Tweak it where necessary. Make it work in your life. Then watch, because as you do, your sense of worthiness will increase. As you start implementing your own plan, you’ll feel better and your sense of deserving will track right along with you.
A few other suggestions:
· You say your life is a wreck. I say drop the drama. Get out of your story. What we say to ourselves, dictates our experience. Change how you talk about yourself and your life and you’ll start to find the energy to change things. Take a stand for yourself and your life, my friend. It’s the only one you have and the rest of us need you to be smiling and feeling successful.
· Start small. Pick one area that seems easy and fun to tackle. Begin anywhere, it doesn’t matter. It’s all connected. Any improvement will impact the whole. Once you have one area on the upswing, take on another one.
· Use your life as a laboratory. There is actually a gift in the struggle you’re experiencing. Connecting with your own shortcomings actually can make you an even better source of support to your friends and family because when you do, when you get in and understand your own pain, discomfort and challenges you know better what others are dealing with. Giving a purpose to your own struggle can give you the impetus to move through it. Take those skills and tools you offer others and perfect them in your own life. (I do this all the time as a coach. I don’t suggest one single strategy I’ve not tried out in my own life.)
As a life coach, I am trained to hold that each person is the expert in his or her own life; that he is whole and complete and resourceful. My job is to help each client access their own wisdom and solutions. You have a lot to draw upon. Everything you need to live the life you imagine is right there inside you. Giving yourself the gift of your own wisdom is perhaps the greatest act of self love you could do. Best of luck and keep me posted. -- John Dulworth, CPC
I was very saddened to hear that the men's Bible Conference is being cneeallcd due to planning committee instability' (what does that mean?). The lack of ministry to men has been a burden of prayer on my heart for a long long time. We need men who are godly role models to boys as they grow and enter youth and manhood. What I would like to know is: Where are all the godly men who will teach men how to be godly husbands and fathers? Where are all the godly men who are not afraid to hold men accountable for the way they live their lives? We have an abundance of ministries to women, youth and children, but where are the ministries to men?I know there are some beautiful godly and holy men, but please think about the men in your circle of opportunity opportunity to reach out and be an example as a true man of God. We need men who will stand up and be men after God's own heart.I really believe (and this is only my personal opinion), that godly men have failed and are failing men, and sadly, the fact that the men's Bible Conference is being cneeallcd, seems to give support to my way of thinking.Remember the need is the call' and countless men are in need.I would say, please seek God and answer the call.
Posted by: Ordiz | 07/06/2012 at 06:54 PM
I do not feel that everything has to be chagned in order to support civil actions. Burt and Ernie are puppets as it has been stated by Sesame Street. Thiey are designed for children to see them as non descript. There is no relationship or connection to race, color or creed. They are perceived as male and that is their only human characteristic. There is no reason to expand on their character. The show, Sesame Street, was created approximately 40 years ago and it has maintained a clear, nonbias , non controversial image withstanding critical issues in society. It is timeless. I feel we should help it remain as non bias as it has always been without changing these two characters. Other characters may be created if the show feels the need. They are masterful at teaching children values and respect for all people. Keep up the good work Sesame Street.
Posted by: David | 08/04/2012 at 11:55 PM