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10/27/2009

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THANK YOU MARIKAIve never used this site before and hselotny didnt know if my problems were a generic topic within the comunity strait woman questioning her sexual orintaionI greatly appricate your advice.No I never felt safe or comfertable with men it always felt sorta taboo or wrong for me to have sex with men.With my friend it was easy and light.I am actualy from montreal there is a large gay/lesbian community here I just dont know any lesbians neither did my friend.And it was quick from meeting her again till the last conversation was within 4 weeks and I never opend up to men like that never felt the urge to have sex with a man that fast but with her it was as soon as she kissed me.I wonder if it was that intense because it was her I was kissing or just that she was a woman? .I have made out with woman many times before and although I never had butterflies, kissing woman always turned me on yet with my last boyfriend when he kissed me I would quickly pull away and look to see if anyone saw .as if I was a an outcast for kissing him.Do yo have any tips for the self esteam issue because I have been struggling with this for years Ive tries the diets the exercise the whole grains and anything you can imagine ive done I just cnt seem to shake the weight and even when I was smaller I always had low self esteam. I do belive I am a good person and I fight for everything I have in life and I dont take crap from anyone but still with her Im drawn not once since sleeping with her has she called to see how i am dealing yet i call her and this is something i would never do with a man.And I know its not my fault for the men Ive been with and her cheating on mebut I feel like if I had put out or just shut up and let her eat me out that maybe they wouldnt have cheated .not to say its an excuse because I cut all ties if im cheated on.I may not like myself but cheating is one thing I know I deserve not to have done to me.I really an grateful for all your help you are truly a savior to me.Thank you for taking the time to read my messages.Leisha

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