Shout Out Health

ASK THE THERAPIST: Too 'small' to find love? Cmon, buddy!

Q: Ok, I have a small penis. But I am so tired of being rejected after having sex with guys because I’m not hung. It pisses me off because people tell me ‘oh, that can't be true,’ and that I'll find someone someday when the truth is that I know I won't. I get rejected all the time! Everyone has porn stars on the brain and I can't complete. What do you think I should do?

A: Penis size is a form of power in the gay male community and used in every way from pushing porn flicks to humiliating each other. Small size is also often a secret told only in therapy when men openly talk about dating woes.

Being rejected repeatedly has left you feeling defeated, so it’s time to build some success. You have several options: 1) Find someone who likes small penises; 2) Find someone who likes something else about you; 3) Go solo.

To find someone who likes small penises, pre-screen. Take out a personal ad or look on the internet sites. Don’t hide your dick. Be specific about who you are and what you have, but be general about what you seek. Don’t be defensive, show your best side. To widen your pool of potential suitors, you may want to develop other things such as your mind, body, or sexual techniques. When it comes to sex, gay men can be pretty penis-focused, but beautiful packaging can make a small gift quite meaningful.

Lastly, if you don’t want to through all that trouble, work on being OK with being alone. In any case, make peace with yourself and your body. There are websites such as www.measurection.com that give support for men struggling with this issue. Your feelings of frustration are understandable, but don’t let a more difficult path keep you from making a valuable journey. And one more thing—try to let go of the anger you have for those people who’ve rejected you. Their minds and hearts appear to be much smaller than any of your perceived shortcomings.

-- Dr. Greg Cason, PhD

HCV Positive? 5 Tips to a Happier Liver

If you have Hepatitis C, it’s essential that you strengthen and support your liver. OK, that’s not exactly a newsflash, and you of course need to work closely with your physician to get the proper medical care, but renowned holistic nutritionist Sally Kravich, M.S., C.N.H.P., author of Vibrant Living: Creating Radiant Health and Longevity, has worked with many HCV positive clients and she’s offered this ‘tip list’ for a happier, healthier liver.

In addition to treatment, there are different things you can do to support the liver naturally,” says Kravich, “I’ve worked with many clients with Hepatitis B and C, and it’s essential to strengthen and support the liver no matter what.”

Here are a few ways Kravich says you can do just that:

* Don’t Forget to Juice! Fire up your juicer, or hit your nearest health food store or juice guru, and be sure to include goodies like celery, parsley, carrot, beets, spinach, broccoli any other dark greens you can include. “A juice a day will make for a happier liver,” says Kravich, “because its an instant extract, it goes directly to your organs. You almost immediately can feel yourself being stimulated, nourished and cleansed.”

* Add a Supplement: If someone is not taking medication, in addition to juicing and eating foods (soluble nutrients) that are high in Vitamin A, E and C, Kravich suggests taking a supplements that include B12 for strengthening the liver and providing energy along with Milk Thistle and Alpha Lipoic Acid, which are very cleansing for the liver. You can get your vitamin Vitamin A in a multi-vitamin (you need 10,000 mg maximum) or eat plenty of orange foods, like carrots and butternut squash. Another important supplement is grape seed extract, an antioxident which helps reduce inflammation.

* Add Berries! Dark berries such as goji, blueberry, pomegranate are very powerful anti-oxidants and help cleanse and support the liver.

* Probiotics: “A probiotic is essential if you’re taking lots of medication,” says Kravich, who suggests adding an organic yogurt or probiotic supplement to your daily diet.

* Drink Tea: Teas such as dandelion tea and milk thistle are wonderful for cleansing and supporting the liver.

ASK THE THERAPIST: WHY THE ONLINE HATE, GUYS?

Q: Who do so many gay men seem to hate each other? So many of the ads I read on the hook up sites are downright nasty, threatening and clearly full of disdain for anyone but their ideal 'type' and I'm scared to meet anyone. You'd think in this more open era we could all lighten up a bit. Am I overreacting here?

A: It's true, there's a lot of prejudice in the gay community and those that feel oppressed turn right around and oppress others to make themselves feel better. If you see an ad that says something like 'no fats, fems, oldies, druggies, etc., I don't care if you're a fit, fat-free, masculine corporate lawyer who's 30 years old and never taken a drug in your life, run for the hills! 

This kind of person has issues that your hot, successful and sober self will NEVER cure. But let's turn this around for a moment; if all you're seeing are ads that list these limitations, then YOUR eyes might need some adjustment. Your assessment may in fact come from your own negative view of yourself, and believing that you are personally being excluded from the fun. If you felt better about yourself, you'd probably see these ads for exactly what they are: someone publiicly airing the fact that they are intolerant and unable to reject someone who makes a move on them.

The best personal ads, whether for sex or for long-term relationships, contain two elements. Specific things about the person placing the ad, including a description and a photo, and a general description of who they're looking for, so people can rules themselves in or out.

Go back and re-read the ads and only focus on those presented in a positive light. While you're at it, why don't you place your own ad, and present yourself as the kind of person you wish other people would be. Good luck!

-- Dr. Greg Cason, PhD

Bruno: Hazardous to Your (Mental) Health?

Joy Behar likes him. Barbara Walters, not so much. The Ukraine has banned him. And GLAAD thinks he’s downright mean.

I’m talking of course about Bruno (in all his glory below), the Austrian gay stereotype gone stark raving mad, concocted by the very talented Sacha Baron Cohen (of Borat fame). Bruno hit theaters with a splash on July 10, raking in $14 million Friday before business actually started dropping off over the weekend (some are blaming bad buzz on Twitter). Since then, the film has been dropping off fast, which is no surprise considering some of the reviews.

In a statement, GLAAD says parts of the film “reinforce some damaging, hurtful stereotypes” and  “decreases the public's comfort with gay people."

Newsweek called it “the most depressing movie of the year” before concluding, “A generation of straight teen guys will hit the summer multiplex to hoot at Brüno, and they'll probably think of the lecherous sexual predator the next time they meet a gay person.”

Walters said this on The View: “I think if you're not homophobic, it could make you. I don't need to know how you are doing anal intercourse."

Behar countered: "I was howling ... It's so audacious and so funny.”

Admittedly, I was hoping Bruno would successfully make homophobes look as foolish as Borat did his unwitting cast of racists, but after reading all this I opted for a more benign option, The Proposal, instead (embarrassing, I know). I WILL go see it soon, and will chime back in then.

In the meantime, what do you think? Is Bruno taking gay rights a giant giant step backwards, or should everyone lighten the hell up and just laugh? Click on the 'comments' tab below to chime in...

-- Mitch Rustad

5 Keys to Fat Loss

When it comes to losing fat, success doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes it doesn't even happen over a few weeks, a few months or a few years. Don't rush it, don't crash and don't expect too much of yourself too soon. Life is for the living; for the making of mistakes and learning from them.

 Below I have outlined my "5 Keys to Fat Loss Success" so that you can not only lose fat but keep it off -- forever:

Photo by Andrew Melick

1. Set realistic short-term goals: The best way to think of these is as "mini-goals." When I was actively training in road racing I didn't start out running a marathon. I first started with smaller mileage races and each time I would try to better my time -- and better my distance -- until I was running a competitive marathon. There is no way to reach such a huge long-term goal without a few mini-goals along the way. What are your mini-goals?

 

Long-Term Relationships: Who Took My Sex Life?

I know you’ve seen them.

They’re everywhere, walking hand-in-hand down the street (at least in the gay sections of your town), inviting you over to their fabulous townhouse for elegant dinners or setting you up with one of their single friends. They’re the couple you love to hate, because they seem to have it all: security, companionship, a real home and--most of all--each other.

I know a gaggle of them myself, and readily admit I’ve envied these couples more than once. One such dynamic duo—let’s call them “J & J”—has been together for a decade. They live way out West, and their own brand of domestic bliss includes a 3,500 square foot house, heated pool and glorious mountain views. They know their neighbors and drive fabulous convertibles. Being a long-time New Yorker, I’m completely smitten with their lifestyle.