A: What advice do you want -- advice on getting to the A-list level or advice on leading a happier life? I can give you one or the other, but unless you change your current mindset, you can’t have both.
I know you think that getting on the A-list will bring you a happier life, but I can guarantee you that it won't. The only thing it will bring is relief from your demand that you must be on the A-list, but it will quickly be replaced with the fear of losing your coveted ranking.
Unfortunately, like Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz,” I'm going to have to let you take the journey down the Yellow Brick Road before you will believe me. So in the meantime, let me tell you why you are not yet on the A-list -- because you do not have a better job, better boyfriend, and better body. But the biggest problem everyone from the A-list to the D-list will have with you? Your entitlement.
You believe you are entitled to have things (and I am throwing people in that list of things, because you do, i.e., "better boyfriend"). But, one of the secrets to life is that we are not really entitled to anything we did not earn -- and even then, it's dicey. If you don't have those things, you probably have not yet earned them.
No matter how hard you think you are working, you need to work harder. And, the thing you need to work harder on is your entitlement because if you don't have fame, fortune, or a phenomenal face and body, then you need to be at least somewhat pleasant to be around. Entitled people are emotional vampires -- they suck people dry and the only reason anyone would want to hang around one is if that person were one too.
If you want a happier life, then you need to stop looking for what you can get, including an A-list membership card, and appreciate the things and people around you at this moment. The best way to do that is to give. Give of your time, your attention, and your good deeds. It's easier to do than clicking your heels together and saying, "There's no place like home." But, if you don't believe, it won't work.
To believe, you need to take your own emotional journey down the Yellow Brick Road and destroy that emotional Wicked Witch that lives inside of you. But it’s scary, so I don’t recommend going at it alone. And, since a trio of anthropomorphized beings is not at the ready, I suggest a therapist.
Whatever it is you want, you have much more work to do, whether it is in a gym or therapist's office. In either case, you are stuck in an emotional tornado. What you do once you land is up to you. -- Greg Cason, PhD